The foundation of the Islamic religion is based on five pillars. A pillar is a fascinating metaphor. It’s necessary to a construction as it provides the framework and structure around which the flooring, ceiling and walls are constructed. Of course you then have the windows and doors. In a storm, earthquake, tornado or tsunami, it’s the pillars that hold the building together and so it is with marriage. Not to take the analogy too far, but here are the 5 Pillars of Marriage that lead to a Happy Muslim Family. The pillars are wide and include a number of different sub-pillars, in some cases they may seem to overlap.
- Religion: Whatever one’s religion, this is the bedrock upon which marriage is constructed. Becoming Muslim this means having the knowledge and responsibility to Allah. It’s knowing there is something bigger than one’s self, which we have rights and duties. There’s accountability not just in this world but the hereafter. It’s understanding that marriage is a blessing. It is not only one and one making a set, but the bountiful blessings of joy and invention that comes out of it.
- Compassion: Including forgiveness, kindness, and love. Each is inclusive in some way, shape or form of justice, fairness, common sense, consultation and satisfying ones rights and duties. Forgiveness isn’t the seed of power it’s the flower of liberation. Forgiveness heals where no additional medication can. Kindness is both giving and receiving and in its purest form is unconditional as are the other features like unconditional approval of your partner. Compassion manifests in several ways and a love that leads to Allah’s pleasure through humility and an off-beat mercy and compassion goes a long way.
- Mutual Respect: It’s a given from the beginning that you will have gaps. In your most tense moments, playing by the rules, and understanding that you must respect and value who all you are, your wallpapers and values will secure your union. Respect is how one treats something they appreciate. Consider something, anything that’s valuable to you, how can you treat it? Each one may feel honored in various ways. She, by speaking and feeling known, he, maybe by his achievements.
- Empathy: Occasionally confused with sympathy, it’s one of the things like patience which people know about, but is hard to practice. It’s truly getting outside your mind and heart and seeing that other perspective. It’s not only an intellectual exercise it requires heart-to-heart communication. It requires active listening and so much more. It takes a life of trying to research and understand each other as we, moment by moment, continue to grow and evolve.
- Commitment: When you face challenges and hardships, commitments remind one of the boundaries of the institution we call marriage. Amongst other things it’s based on faith and honesty. A frequent purpose helps dedication by aligning for brief and long-term targets. Commitment is based on trust, and is built up over time and got just like a bank account or brick by brick for keeping a wall.
Marriage is a house, a shelter from all of the components that surround it. It can be blown away, washed away, rocked into the floor, or burnt to cinders. That is unless it’s built on a solid foundation that strikes the bedrock and constructed on vertical pillars. The dirt and the weeds are continually cleaned up. Windows provide our perspective of the world as well as the doorways our entrance and exit. Their roles should not be reversed.
We’ve identified five pillars that are crucial for marriage. They have to be laid down, place, erected and maintained in order to become strong and keep providing support.
Marriage in the Islamic kingdom should provide peace and tranquility in the house. But when hardships and tragedies come their way that they always will, they may be countered by Faith, Compassion, Mutual Respect, Empathy and Commitment.